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First, let’s get this part out of the way…..THAT IS A BONA FIDE ALABAMA DRIVER’S LICENSE HE’S HOLDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So awesome. The determination, perseverance, and work ethic of this guy is something to be honored, celebrated, and admired.

To say that Jim, Rachel, and I are proud is an understatement. We’ve walked with Tim through a lot of ups and downs, and seeing his growth this year has been one of the deepest joys of 2020 for us.

Tim is an encouragement to us and his friendship has produced growth in each one of us as well.

This process took up most of our day yesterday. With all the excitement and emotions of the day and then heading off to get my son to a ballgame and then back home for dinner and all that, I haven’t had a lot of time to sit down and collect my thoughts until now.

Up until ten years ago, getting a driver’s license or state ID didn’t seem like that big of a deal to me. Everyone had one. It didn’t seem like it was that hard.

But it wasn’t everyone that had one. It was just that everyone I was around had one.

I think we can all agree that the local DMV isn’t a bastion of clear communication, efficiency, and empathy.

But when you have money, reliable transportation, and no legal history, it’s simply an inconvenience. 

However, when you’re poor, depend on a broken public transportation system, and are working hard to rebuild your life, it feels like a hostage situation.

There’s no clear communication between the courts and the DMV. There’s certainly no clear communication between them and you. 

You can be given direction on where to go and what to do by someone on the phone one day only to be given a different set of instructions when you show up in person.

It would be a hassle if you were in your car. But when it’s a 2-3 hour bus ride just to get across town…and then another 2-3 hours to get back, it mounts into frustration that drive people to just give up.

Moreover, we have a strange way of showing how much we want people to rebuild their lives in this country.

We’re punitive and unimaginative in how we think about consequences and punishment. We think fining the poorest among us is somehow a smart idea that will aid them in getting back on their feet and finding meaningful, productive work.

Think about the cost of surviving on a $9-10 per hour job and barely scrapping by, but having to take off multiple days of work just to get back and forth across the city to clean up your record and test for your license. Think about that cost if you’re unemployed but need ID to get a job in the first place.

This isn’t advocating letting crime go unpunished or unaddressed. But it is advocating a reimagination of what punishment looks like and setting up systems that are conducive to people being able to rebuild from past mistakes.

I’ve seen with my own eyes over the years how this kind of frustration has driven people to just give up.

I’ve seen them throw their hands up because they found out at the last minute that there was one more fine they had to pay off before they could pay their reinstatement fee.

I’ve seen the devastation (time off work, impounded vehicle, mental health toll) caused when a   friend spent over a month in jail on a charge that ultimately got dismissed.

I’ve literally watched a friend walk down the road to buy dope and numb his feelings because he couldn’t cope with the stress of what a judge just ordered him to do over the next several months.

I’m not here to litigate every detail of those situations or excuse anything. But I am here to say that one thing that ultimately helped each of these people is having a support system around them to help them process and cope with the stress they were dealing with.

Our system needs overhauling. That’s a worthy fight to undertake. But it’s not going to happen overnight. In the meantime, what can happen overnight is us giving more empathy to those that are struggling. We can be a friend and support system to those lacking resources. 

We often turn our thoughts to local programs or entities that aid people in these types of things.

Sure, those exist and some do excellent work. But what’s missing is the personal connection.

Those programs can aid and assist, but are they there to talk and process with you when you’re down or frustrated or on the brink of a bad decision? They don’t take you to lunch to celebrate the wins or give you hug or listening ear when you’re in the dumps.

That’s something that friends can do, but not programs. 

And we all need to be in the business of being better friends, especially to those who don’t run in the circles we’re around on a regular basis.

-Mark